


smother me with the cold, please

by Relicthought



Category: Homestuck, Homestuck 2: Beyond Canon - Fandom, Homestuck Meat Epilouge, not on
Genre: :), Character Death, Character is dead, Other, and he finds a horrorterror, and hes just really sad, basically johns ghost appears somewhere, happens after he dies in meat epilouge, im pretty much copying the aradia route in pesterquest.. lmao, john vents to a horrorterror, this made me sad ngl, you gotta listen to sad music tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23121313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Relicthought/pseuds/Relicthought
Summary: John wasn't a stranger to death, but this time, its permanent.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 18





	smother me with the cold, please

The last thing you can remember before everything went black is Terezi's face twisted as she held you close. You could barely hear words in your head, thinnly spun and resting in your mind. Orange strings attached to everything, so much so that it wasn't possible to ignore them even while the world got dark. The smell and taste of citrus lingered on his tongue as he died. 

Your name is John Egbert, and you are most likely dead. 

Huh.  
You can't really narrate your death by dying right? Well, I mean, this death was definitely slower and more tragic than getting stabbed by Jack and having blood fill your lungs. Atleast, you got to save goodbye to Terezi, but you couldn't even say "I love you". Great job egderp. Even though you said goodbye to Terezi, you wondered if any of your other friends would miss you. 

Would they be happy that you were gone? It's not like you contributed much to the world anyways, just moping around your dead fathers house in a depressive state. Would they even care? Rose was the one who sent you on a suicide mission, but in reality, you made the ultimate choice. You saw your best friends being torn apart by Lord English. You led them there. You can only blame yourself for their deaths. And now you're dead. 

Meat or candy, John. 

You should've chosen candy. 

Anyways, back on the whole being dead thing, where am I?

You examine your surrondings and find promptly nothing. Theres nothing out here as far as you can see. It's just black. And-- oh, wait a minute! 

Your clothes, which were previously filthy and covered with blood and vomit, are cleaned! You guess its just a perk for being a ghost that the game is nice enough to give you clean clothes but not help you win. Nice. You continue to scan the horizon for anything out in this space, but find nothing. The times he visited dream bubbles had taught him that mixed lands and images of the past and future would always be present, but no bubbles were in sight. And it was just so unbearably quiet. Is this what they call a double death? John thought to himself, before pondering that this could be what he deserved for killing his friends.

In his thoughts, John could not see the large and ominous creature lurking above him that grew (more like drifted) toward him through the void.

"JALU DAKAR BOY."

John whirled around, expecting to see a ghost. What he got instead, was a humongous black mass of writhing tentacles and multiple beak shaped mouths and eyes staring at him. 

"JOIT JALU KADISHTU MA?"

You have no idea what this thing is trying to say. Maybe it's a good idea to abscond out of here.  
As if the thing could read your thoughts, it speaks again in its garbled language, but this time you can understand it.

"DON'T LEAVE."

Oh hey, it can speak english. Now, what the hell is this thing? You regard it warily and you float away from it a little bit to try to get a grasp for how big this thing is. You fail to do just that. The creature seems to envelope everything around it. Now that you look more closely, you feel like Rose might've mentioned these while you were playing SBURB. You doubt you could out fly it, and you're not really sure if your powers work while being dead, so you choose the next best option: say hello.

"Uh... hi! I'm uh, John Egbert!" You manage to get out after staring at this massive thing. Your voice fills the void, and the thing seems to be waiting for you to go on. "And, I think I'm lost. I remember dying, and my friends, but aren't there supposed to be those dream bubbles out here? Do you know where "here" is?" 

You ask all the important questions to the giant mass. You aren't sure it is cognitive enough to respond given that many mouths. But, you are proved wrong as you can hear a faint rumble from the creature. 

"CHILD. WE ARE IN AN INFINITE AREA OF PARADOX SPACE OF WHICH YOUR MEATY FLESH CAN NOT COMPREHEND."  
Oh hey, it answered your question! While at the same time not answering your actual question, but it's a start. 

"Oh. Cool, I, uh, guess. Another question, coming up hot," You shift your position and fly up a little, examining the creature more thoroughly.  
"What are you?"

The thing seemed to take offense that you didn't know who or what it was, as it rumbled out a guttery reply, "INSOLENT HEIR, THE SEER COULD SEE US, BUT SHE COULD NOT REACH THE POTENTIAL WE OFFERED FOR HER. THE DEMON IN GREEN TRAIPSED OVER US AND MISGUIDED THE SEER. WE DO NOT MOURN HER LOSS, FOR SHE IS STILL HERE. ALAS, SHE WAS OF FEW WHO COULD COMMUNICATE WITH US, BUT NOW ALL HAVE RETURNED TO SPECKS IN THE UNIVERSE OF SAND. AS OF OUR SIBLINGS, RIOLED AND RIPPED APART WITH THE GRASP OF THE DOUBLE ANGEL OF DEATH. WE ARE OF FEW REMAINING IN THIS REALM."

Oh wow, that was a lot. You finished circling around the huge creature as it eyed you. You realize what this thing could be. A Horrorterror. Unlike what Rose had said in the past, it didn't seem that bad, you mean, given that he wasn't dead or mind controlled yet. 

"....AND IT SEEMS YOU ARE THE LAST OF YOUR SESSION. WHAT SAY YOU HEIR, THE LAST MEAT GHOST WITHOUT A PLACE TO GO TO. THE WITCH OF LIFE IS GONE, AND THE DREAM BUBBLES WE AGREED TO CREATE ALSO DESTROYED. YET, YOU PERSIST OUT OF YOUR REALM. WHY?"

It's talking to you again. 

Before replying, you figured that the most comfortable position you'd be in would be just to float next the the Horrorterror. You think Rose mentioned some of them had names. Well, some of them anyways.

"I'm not really sure. I guess I'm happy to be alive in a sense, but I was hoping to see others here. But... this is just depressing. If what you are saying is true, then I guess we're really alone."  
You pause before continuing, something heavy started to weigh down in your stomach. Maybe it was the meat you ate earlier. 

"Sorry if this sounds offensive, but I don't think I'm really ready to spend eternity with a horrorterror." You say, staring off into the distance. 

"HEIR OF BREATH. WE DO NOT CHOOSE HOW WE GO." 

Somehow, those words are the most comforting and most terrifying anyone has ever said to you. You are alone. You should be dead. Why aren't you dead? You bury your head into your hands as you feel your eyes water and your mouth become tight as you release a quiet wail. There's nobody here but you. You don't know why you're alive. Your eyes burn as you feel fat lobs of tears spill over. Everything hurts.

You can't take this. Not again. You don't want to be alone again.  
"I miss everyone. Rose, Dave, Jade, even karkat. I... I didn't want to die. I just wanted to be use..ful.." You break down sobbing, your voice breaking. 

"I miss my dad. I just wanted to see him again." 

You try to wipe away your tears, but the overwhelming grief overtakes your movements. You just float, and cry your heart out. 

You feel something softly wrap around your abdomen and pull you towards the horrorterror. You're too busy trying to get your crying and breath under control, but you won't lie, the physical contact feels nice. 

You open up your blurry tear filled eye and find yourself being comforted by the horrorterror. A large tentacle from it holds you gently, caressing you like how a mother would rock her child to sleep. Soft whispers fill your ears, some you can't make out, but comforting enough you find yourself calming down.

A smaller tentacle brushes gently against your face, as if to wipe you tears away. The Horrorterror itself is quite cold, but it's nice to feel something other than this sharp heartache.  
Your breathing slows down, you had tear stains on your face, and you feel quite emotionally drained. You wonder if it'd be alright you just... relaxed here for a while. You don't really had an option to refuse this idea because you begin to drift, your eyes becoming quite heavy. 

You think, before you fall asleep, that your friends will be okay. Terezi will okay. Roxy will be okay. Everything's going to be alright. 

Today has been okay. 

-END-

**Author's Note:**

> wow! im super excited for this. this is a one shot for now until I decide if I want to do more. probably not.


End file.
